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Goonie Time Magic is Back! To Back!

Fans love the never-say-die hustle, but nerves / livers prefer Quakes score during regular time.

MLS: FC Dallas at San Jose Earthquakes
Jahmir Hyka celebrates hearing the Quakes are screening “The Goonies” after equalizing against FC Dallas in the 94 minute.
Neville E. Guard-USA TODAY Sports

SNAP SHOTS: Play has improved, & two points better than none, but four dropped at home leave fans feeling frustrated.

Two über-late goals at the death of the past two matches allow San Jose to remain “undefeated” at Avaya for the 2017 season. Chris Wondoloski rocked a 90’ equalizer against Seattle on April 7, then Jahmir Hyka channeled the Goonie gods again for a 94’ goal against Dallas on Friday, April 14.

Quakes are 2-2-2, which is really too, too, too average for a real league.
Thankfully, San Jose plays in MLS, where everyone and his dog has playoff chance until September:

But, doggone it, as frustrating as two ties are, at least they were against two of the best teams in the Western Conference, if not the league. Also a plus: the great relationship developing between Ureña and Wondo, apparent throughout the first few matches of the season, but especially visable in the 90’ equalizer against Seattle:


Drink of the Match (DOTM):

Celebrate a Friday Night Lights match with a “Dallas Bomb”:

1/2oz Crown Royal whisky
1/2oz Blueberry schnapps
Drop shot into glass of Red Bull like Lima blasts the ball from outside the box.

SNAP SHOT: Not only are San Jose unbeaten at Avaya this season, but also taking over one Texas home at a time:

The Lineups

SNAP SHOT: Even though Bernárdez was back from suspension (drink!) and fit to play, Dom decided to keep the Fatai-Flo center back pairing that proved well against Seattle.

History was not on the side of the Quakes to pull off a victory against Dallas:

And while Dallas was expected to bring even more attacking heat, San Jose did it’s part to chill the offence by socking the stadium with a mighty cold wind:

A later-than usual 8pm Kickoff did not help (though traffic was surprisingly light for a Friday night). Note to FO: yes, we understand limited quantities of gate giveaways gets fans into Avaya earlier, thus driving up revenue from food, drink, merch, and Q lap dances, but 5,000 out of a 18,000-person sellout is miserly. I overheard many fans complaining they came into Avaya over an hour and a half before the kickoff against Seattle and all the Cannon HOF shirts were already out. At least double the giveaways, please. Or Q’s gonna have to work it so much harder.

Speaking of going through the gate, PRO TIP:

Place all your keys, wallet, phone, etc. into your hat, then hand your hat to the sentry. Shaves at least 30 seconds getting through the gates!
Eli Stuart

First Half

Both teams came out of the gate with pace, possession, and a push towards goal.


That’s col’, man.


You ready for this, Quakes fans?

Colin, Jamaican us crazy.

Jokes aside, Francis—perennial Quakes Defensive Whipping Boy—has markedly improved his play in the 2017 season, so much so that San Jose can focus summer transfers on that elusive DP #10 who, while religating Wondo to the bench until Goonie Time, would finally facilitate the attractive, attacking-style soccer fans have been searching for at the bottom of the Black and Blue rainbow since the return from Huston.


OK: WTF is up with all the disrespect? First the official FCD twitter @s the wrong Quakes account, then multiple yahoos perpetuate the misdirection (FYI, it’s @sjearthquakes). It’s bad enough that national journalists / MLS extra time rarely give a mention to San Jose, but people can’t even be bothered to send their salt takes to the correct address? So sad.

Of course, some didn’t even make it to the second half:

Speaking of Smart Decisions:

Photo Credit: Dude waiting for Flounders Fan to Find his Century Link
  1. Wearing your Flounders jersey to a San Jose vs FC Dallas match a week after Seattle getting Wondo’d at Avaya
  2. Placing your beer in the Splatter Zone

Quakes fans, however, had plenty to be relieved and pleased about from the first half draw:

“Has ball skills, etc.” would make a great Lima meme, or a name on the back of a jersey. Hmm...

But wonderful for another Homegrown Hero show well on the pitch, and to positively contribute to the Quakes in a needed position. Definitely altering the squad’s composition for the better! (and nice to see Cato up the pitch in his preferred position, too!)


LOBINA social media minions were fortunate to catch up with Dan Burkhead, fab photojournalist and head mucky muck of, in the lower supporters’ section at halftime:

Final thoughts before the second half from a Dallas fan:

Second Half

SNAP SHOT: Even with the defensive error to allow space for the Acosta goal, Flo was, again, a solid supportive presence at the back. Jungwirth snuffed out numerous dangerous balls just by being in the right place and sticking out a simple boot. He also kept the ball moving well, sometimes side to side, but especially at rocking up at angles that instantly put the Quakes attacking into the opponent’s half. Flo’s not flashy, but his vision and verbals shapes the Quakes’ defense, and his skill and smarts allows fellow CB Fatai to move up into a “False 8” position, pushing the entire Quakes midfield up.




SNAP SHOT: Soon after the final whistle, Marco Ureña—who put in a hard-running shift all match—was seated at a table at the north end of the lower supporters section, signing autographs with Danny Hoesen:

Ureña’s energy extends beyond the pitch to engaging fans well beyond the end of the match. Q cheers Marco on, keeps fans warm with a cuddle.
Eli Stuart

Great to see the players cheer the fans and engage with us after the match. Remember, you can always wait in the parking lot for a brief meet and greet / Quakes After Dark session. Autographs, jokes, high fives—all ways to connect with the club on a personal level!

Speaking of which, LOBINA will sit down with a Quakes legend (and vice versa) next Friday Home match for an in-depth interview on how former players and current commentators can enjoy a match purely as fan. Here’s a sneak peak:

Danger! Quakes legend zeros in on some hot takes & hot links before SJvFCD. Sometimes it’s good just to be a fan.
Eli Stuart


#NERvSJ - Wed. 4/19 - 4:30pm PST

#HOUvSJ - Sat. 4/22 - 1:00pm PST

#MINvSJ - Sat. 4/29 - 5:00pm PST

Check on r/SJEarthquakes/ for all the Quakes Away Watch Parties over the next weeks.

Go Quakes, and Never Say Die.